Debate Club
by justgivingmytwoshekel'sworth
Summary: Hachiman joins a new club


"We don't need you here, dog. Now, go serve someone else."

Yukino, holding a kneeling Hachiman by the leash, gave her commands. Her words reverberated across the room as she cracked her whip. Hachiman lowered his head, and Yukino placed her foot on top of it. Then she kicked him right in the face and sent him tumbling to the other side of the room.

Hachiman got up, his face red, and smiled.

"Ahhhh... that was painful indeed, ojou-sama. Forgive me, for I have sinned and thus indulged a little in this pleasurable affair."

His masochism sent his genitals bulging. It is apparent that he did not merely indulge a little.

"NOW GET THE FUCK OUT"

"What?"

"You think I'm playing? No! In fact, I have been considering kicking you out of the club for quite a while. You are nothing but a third wheeler in me and Yui's roman- I mean, friendship! You hardly contribute to the club and is literally here because sensei assigned you to this club. Now that sensei is fucking dead (I killed her actually), you are to immediately surrender your membership and never be found here again! Now leave!"

"FINE I DON'T GIVE A FUCK NOW GET ME OUT OF HERE YOU WHORE CUNT BITCH SLUT THOT!"

Hachiman tried to sound like he don't give a fuck but it was useless. Tears were appearing in his eyes and his dick, now flaccid, drooped like the mouth of your typical sad face emoji.

"Damn that bitch... now what should I do?"

"I know! I will join another club!"

Swimming Club:

Member 1: Alright, you are in luck here chap. We are desperately in need of new members because two of our most eminent swimmers died after engaging in anal sex underwater for a swimwear advertisement and enjoying so much that they forgot to return to the surface and breathe.

Member 2: So your proficiency test will be drastically cut short. In fact, you only need to do one thing to pass the test.

Member 1: If you are able to touch your own toes, we will accept you into the club.

Hachiman: Fuck!

Hachiman panicked. He was always unwilling to do so because the first time he did such an exercise his fifth grade teacher stuck his penis in him when he was bending over. However, he did not have a choice.

So he tried, and failed! He could no longer be as flexible as his younger self and so he toppled over and into the pool. The sides of the swimming team were, of course, sent into orbit.

"Fuck my thug life in the ass!" Hachiman lamented in anguish. However, it was not long before he found another club which he might be interested to join.

Ku Klux Klub:

Ku Klux Klub is notorious for being one of the most formidable club in existence. They were respected by many, and feared by more. For decades they have terrorised the school, lynching minority second-language teachers and pillaging innocent students. At one point they even engaged in censorship— once they broke into the school, specifically the History department, in the middle of the night. There, they got hold of crates of textbooks that were meant for the first years. Pages after pages were torn off. When they deem a content in the book to be too politically correct, they were removed. As a result, for the next 6 months, the first years were not brainwashed by the SJW system and became redpilled, to the point where many expressed their desires to join the KKK.

This was the era where the organisation had truly flourished. Now, not so much. In fact, people haven't heard of them for ages. There were rumors that the club has long disbanded, and there were rumors that they were actually engaging in secret schemes that will eventually bring forth the demise of the entire school.

So, out of curiosity and the need for a new club, Hachiman approached the Ku Klux Klub.

When he reached the club, he saw members with fedoras lazing around. Just then, the presumed leader, who was wearing a megumin hat, approached Hachiman.

"Hello kind sir, are you interested in the ways of the THICC?"

"Are you a man who gets hard over traps?"

"Or are you both at the same time? That is the ultimate man of culture."

A fatfuck with a neckbeard belched.

"Buurrrrrrp hey Cleyton pass me them faygo root beers already."

"Okey, but not before I post this "I am genuinely in love with Anne Frank" copypasta to ebin troll my discord group."

"Kek!"

Just then, an airplane flew past the sky.

One of them stood up and did the Nazi salute.

"Heil Hitler! Without Hitler airplanes wouldn't of exist. The Wright Brothers and their planes are all one big Jewish Conspiracy to cover up the Nazi's contribution to aviation!"

Hachiman half expected them to Kek. However, they all looked serious and were nodding their head in agreement.

"...Really triggered my synapses ya right Hitler did nothing wrong."

"Man you used to be kings and shit but right now y'all nothing but a bunch of sperging manchilds!"

Hachiman huffed in anger.

"Wow you look cute when you are angry. Perhaps you can consider to become a trap?"

"KYS!" Hachiman shouted and ran out of the room lividly.

"Fuck now what do I do?" Hachiman wondered out. He was utterly disappointed with the KKK's lack of bantz lately. He wanted to have happenings again.

Just then, he spotted a flyer.

"Debate club. Now recruiting new members."


End file.
